My Mind Right Now
I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind.
How all this could turn out, and if I will make the right decision, not really the fact that I could have ended all this yesterday by agreeing with the other side and giving in to his request.
I guess let me recap yesterday for you.
The other side gave an offer to let him have primary custody and I have Cody all summer and every other school holiday, like Christmas and such.
Well that is what I would get if I lost in court, the standard visitation, so why give in, huh? Fight! I feel if I am going to lose at least lose and not give in. They will have to take him from me, I wont hand him over.
But I wonder if Cody will understand that I did all I could. And on that note, will he realize that the other side didn't take his own feelings into consideration. Cody has begged his dad not to take him away from me. But, he didn't listen. And some may say that he is only 8 he will understand one day, hell I know he understands now. He is smart.
At one point I was told that I didn't have a good chance due to who was on my side, and that I lead a lifestyle that isn't 'normal' and open to eyes in this town. OMG please, we raise him wonderful, we do a good job is what I am trying to say. Just because we are two women, he still has two parents here and we share the responsiblity. Something the other side can't do.
Now the big thing I can't stop thinking about is if Cody has to be returned to the other side will he feel like I don't care or should I be closer to him.
Yeah I was offered to go with Cody and help parent him with the other side. I would have had to move in with the ex. Forget the fact that I have a life here or a partner. And forget the fact that I have plans to move to MT. It's almost as if the other side plans on using that against me. In the future. "oh your mom didn't want to be close to you" or "she left you" Yeah my mind is going ninety to nothing.
I was told once that I should look at his side and I do. I know he wants Cody and I know he will take care of him. But I also know he can't to the things I do. He wont be in and out with Cody's friends and letting Cody ride his bike all day. He just wont let Cody be himself. Right now Cody is just realizing he can express himself and it's ok.
I have a month th prepare myself for this, I can't help but prepare for defeat. I have to, or if the time comes I wont be ready.
Make sense?
How all this could turn out, and if I will make the right decision, not really the fact that I could have ended all this yesterday by agreeing with the other side and giving in to his request.
I guess let me recap yesterday for you.
The other side gave an offer to let him have primary custody and I have Cody all summer and every other school holiday, like Christmas and such.
Well that is what I would get if I lost in court, the standard visitation, so why give in, huh? Fight! I feel if I am going to lose at least lose and not give in. They will have to take him from me, I wont hand him over.
But I wonder if Cody will understand that I did all I could. And on that note, will he realize that the other side didn't take his own feelings into consideration. Cody has begged his dad not to take him away from me. But, he didn't listen. And some may say that he is only 8 he will understand one day, hell I know he understands now. He is smart.
At one point I was told that I didn't have a good chance due to who was on my side, and that I lead a lifestyle that isn't 'normal' and open to eyes in this town. OMG please, we raise him wonderful, we do a good job is what I am trying to say. Just because we are two women, he still has two parents here and we share the responsiblity. Something the other side can't do.
Now the big thing I can't stop thinking about is if Cody has to be returned to the other side will he feel like I don't care or should I be closer to him.
Yeah I was offered to go with Cody and help parent him with the other side. I would have had to move in with the ex. Forget the fact that I have a life here or a partner. And forget the fact that I have plans to move to MT. It's almost as if the other side plans on using that against me. In the future. "oh your mom didn't want to be close to you" or "she left you" Yeah my mind is going ninety to nothing.
I was told once that I should look at his side and I do. I know he wants Cody and I know he will take care of him. But I also know he can't to the things I do. He wont be in and out with Cody's friends and letting Cody ride his bike all day. He just wont let Cody be himself. Right now Cody is just realizing he can express himself and it's ok.
I have a month th prepare myself for this, I can't help but prepare for defeat. I have to, or if the time comes I wont be ready.
Make sense?
posted by Amy at
9:09 AM
5 Comments:
I totally understand how you are feeling at this time but keep in mind that you have to much going for you right now.You can't give up and the other side doesn't want Cody he just wants to hurt you.You keep fighting and never give up.I love you and call me if you need to talk or cry.You are raising Cody a heck of a lot better than most straight couples!!!!!
Amen to what Wendy said, especially the last sentence. I don't blame you for preparing for the worst, but you HAVE to hope for the best! You cannot let this jerk win. This is one reason I really hate Texas ~ they are so backwoods-minded that they don't take into consideration for gay couples. It's your LIFE. You cannot be punished for being gay! I certainly hope the Judge isn't backwoods.
M~
It's good to be prepared for the worst, but dont give up. Susan almost lost her kid down there, but she fought hard and one. My lawyer, who specializes in Gays fortunately said here they cant discriminate like that.
I will be routing for you. Hang in there.
We're all rooting for you. Cody knows how much you love him. You can't help the way the world sees you. You can just be the best mom you can be... and you are. Hang in there! This isn't easy. But we were never promised an easy life, just the strength to get through the one we were given.
Still thinking of you. I like the way you think, if you're gonna go down, youre gonna go down fighting..his offer to let you live with him and coparent was ludicruous...what a pompous jerk.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you and thinking of you often. hang in there..and cody knows you love him and even if the other side does win, he'll know you tried with all you had don't you even think twice about that.
Stacie
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home